Cyber Bully

Last night, I went to a basketball game to visit a friend. Someone I don't get along with was behind my friend. I sat next to my friend and unfortunately, stuff went down.

After the game, I went home just to find about 5 people (3 that I knew, 2 that I've never talked to before) giving me hate on Twitter. On top of being told that I wasn't welcome in this town, I was called crazy. I was called out on taking medication because of my depression and PTSD. Low blow.

It is easy to give up and to lose hope. It's so easy to drag the razor across your wrist. It's so easy to swallow all those pills. It's so easy to lose yourself.

I sat around for an hour or so last night, crying and fighting back- doing my best to kill them with kindness.

That's when the texts started coming in.

Suddenly, I had half of the town on my side. I had twice as many people supporting me as hating on me. You have no idea how nice that was.

I want to thank the following people for keeping me alive last night:

• Mom
• Jessica Goshi
• Jenna
• Sam Graham
• Aunt Tracy
• Beth Burnand
• Brandon Dowling
• Katie Ziem
• Travis Vick
• Lauren Prater
• Anna Hueter
• Haley Smith
• @Suicidehastoend
• Ella Grant
• Madison Denisio
• Ariana Faigenbaum
• Ashley Skaggs
• @JayXOFauz
• Tyler Carpenter
• Micailah Moore
• Lauren Patchin
• Nate Todd
• Lexi Upson
• Emma Colegrove
• Jake Sidock
• Jakob Matney

You see that? That's twenty-five people who had my back. Twenty-five. I was humbled, to say the least. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that all of you were there for me... You will never know how much I love and appreciate every last one of you. I thoroughly believe that God has a plan for me and that everything happens for a reason. 

So not only was I reminded of all the beautiful people in my life, I made a new friend. This girl reached out and helped my last night, even though we didn't know each other. So, Emily Gilbert, I would like to say thank you to you... for being a genuinely phenomenal person. Thank you.

Then, to the following people who helped me out today:

• Taylor Clark
• Taylor Hawes
• Tiffany Mountain

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for not allowing me to sit around all day and mope. Because of you, I had motivation to keep going today. And I made it. One more day alive. One day at a time.

God will not put me through anything I cannot handle. The cyber-bullying didn't kill me. You know what that means: it only made me stronger.

And now? Now I can help and understand the kids who have been cyber-bullied. Now I know who my true friends are. Now I accept how much my old friends have changed. Now I realize who I want and don't want in my life.

Most of all? I realized that I'll be okay, and I am strong enough to make it through this.

The things they said to me? Those words are nothing compared to the love all of you people gave me.

Thank you a million times.

Forever grateful,

-Jordan xx

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Jordan_Winans

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanashleywinans

Vlogging YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanwinansvlogs

Tumblr: www.battle-wound.com

Instagram: @wtvr.jordan

Visitor

Visitor
So yesterday was my mom's 43rd birthday! (Feliz cumpleanos, madre.)  And for her birthday, a visitor decided to join us in the wonderful city of Seattle, Washington to celebrate... Grandma Nancy!

AIRPORT SHOT:

(How cute are we?)

It's really nice having another person in the house! We definitely missed her so much! My mom's birthday ended up turning out okay, too, because we were all together. It was simple, but nice. And we went to an Italian place for dinner so that's obviously good.

YouTube

So I wrote a new song today! Just gotta put the music to the lyrics and it'll be good to go! Can't wait for you all to hear this... It's one of those songs that actually makes me laugh looking back on it. Hey, but the truth should always be revealed, right? It's one of those "Cowboy Casanova" or "Better Than Revenge" type of songs...

You get the gist. Lots of fun.

Also, if you haven't seen my latest upload, here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3Jx0qwjHUg

PLEASE check it out! I love any/all feedback as well. :)

Life is Good

So after the sudden move, and the annoying drama popping up... It's safe to say that January wasn't the greatest month I've ever had. But I've cut the poisonous people out of my life and I feel amazing. I feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. I feel sort of free.

It's strange isn't it? To wake up and realize that this could be the best day of your entire life? 

Isn't it odd to consider the fact that your best days in your life have yet to happen?

Isn't it wondrous to see that you have the rest of your life to find the perfect guy, a true and loyal best friend, and have crazy adventures?

We'll make better mistakes tomorrow.

-Jordan xx

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Jordan_Winans

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanashleywinans

Vlogging YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanwinansvlogs

Tumblr: www.battle-wound.com

Instagram: @wtvr.jordan

P.S. Remind yourself that this'll be a good story for your kids one day.

Purple & Gold

Before I say anything else...

CONGRATULATIONS, RAVENS!

After watching the 47th Super Bowl, I was really happy to see the football players be so genuine and emotional. The fact that all these huge, grown men were crying happy tears as confetti fell to the field below them was quite amazing.

I just wonder what the next Harbaugh family dinner will be like... awwwwkward.


Vlog

So I've made a decision to start up a blog! Due to my excessive amount of travelling this year, I thought it might be cool to let you guys see what I'll be seeing!

First off, I'll obviously be heading back to Michigan a few times this year. So that'll be fun! On top of that, I'm flying out to Europe this summer!

My beautiful cousin, Caitlin, is graduating from the University in Edinborough in Scotland! She's incredibly talented and I cannot even explain how proud my entire family is of her! (I think the list of instruments she doesn't play is shorter than the list she does play. Crazy, right?)

I also plan to be visiting some other cool places with my other cousin and Caitlin's younger sister, Haley! From what we've talked about, I believe I'll be getting to go to:

• Germany
• London, England
• Paris, France

Not sure if we're going anywhere else, but we'll be sure to try and hit up Harry Potter World while we're in London.

So yeah! That's that. I hope everything works out well with this vlog idea. I'll most likely end up creating a second YouTube channel! I'll keep you posted!

Birthday Girl

Two days until my Grandma Nancy gets to Seattle!

Two days until my mom turns 43!

Cannot wait to celebrate her birthday!

Last Thoughts

Before I go, I just thought I'd leave you with something to think about...

It's time to be happy. Let the past go and focus on tomorrow.

Love always,

-Jordan xx

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Jordan_Winans

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanashleywinans

Vlogging YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanwinansvlogs

Tumblr: www.battle-wound.com

Instagram: @wtvr.jordan

The Joys of YouTube

Recently, I went through a rough patch with some drama back in Michigan. I'm the first to admit to letting everything in the world get to me. I was talking to a specialist about how to get out of that "funk" and she gave me some ideas.

1. go for a walk
2. take photographs
3. look at old photographs
4. write a poem/short story/song
5. draw/color/paint

And then I began to add to that list with some of my own ideas. My favorite/most helpful idea? Okay, don't judge me, but... watching YouTube videos.

I know what you're probably thinking: "What does that have to do with anything?"

I've suddenly come to this realization that YouTube can be quite helpful, especially for girls! You can watch all kinds of tutorials on how to do your make-up and hair! Plus, numerous beauty gurus will post videos of the clothes that they wore throughout the previous week. I know it might sound a bit strange, but it's a fun way to pass the time, and it'll distract you long enough to get you to stop thinking about whatever is bothering you.

In case you don't have a YouTube, here's a tip:

• MAKE A YOUTUBE. It takes 5 minutes and it's totally worth it because you can favorite videos (or add them to a playlist) and go back and watch them without having to search for them again

Okay. Now that you have a YouTube, I want to introduce you to all-time favorite channels! 

Beauty

• Lindsey: http://www.youtube.com/user/beautybaby44
• Bethany: http://www.youtube.com/user/macbarbie07
• Kristee: http://www.youtube.com/user/strawberryelectric48
• Zoella: http://www.youtube.com/user/zoella280390
• Meredith: http://www.youtube.com/user/StilaBabe09

Comedy

• Jack (& Finn): http://www.youtube.com/user/JacksGap
• Caspar: http://www.youtube.com/user/dicasp
• Tyler: http://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley
• Kingsley: http://www.youtube.com/user/ItsKingsleyBitch
• Jenna: http://www.youtube.com/user/JennaMarbles
• Sam: http://www.youtube.com/user/OFFICIALsampepper
• 
  

Music

• Megan & Liz: http://www.youtube.com/user/MeganandLiz
• Tiffany Alvord: http://www.youtube.com/user/TiffanyAlvord
• Megan Nicole: http://www.youtube.com/user/megannicolesite
• Cimorelli: http://www.youtube.com/user/cimorellitheband

Well, that's all I've got! Just thought I should mention my love for YouTube... So while you're on the site I think you should check out my channel... ;) 

God bless the Internet. 

-Jordan xx

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Jordan_Winans

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanashleywinans

Vlogging YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/jordanwinansvlogs

Tumblr: www.battle-wound.com

Instagram: @wtvr.jordan