My problem is that I'm used to being antisocial and getting away with it. Here, if I want to have friends I've actually got to work pretty hard to have friends. All these unfamiliar faces already have their cliques, groups of friends and best friends. My job is to weasel my way into their lives and I don't feel right doing that.
Lunch is by far the most difficult time of the day. I sit with an amazing group of girls. They're all hilarious and so beautiful. They've been kind enough to take me in and let me sit with them. I just feel like such a bothersome charity case.
It's the oddest feeling, not knowing where you belong. You grow up with all these kids and eventually you mold your way into who you are. But here I am. Back at the beginning.
The war in my mind is escalating. Do I stay quiet and under the radar, or will it be worth the risk to make friends?
The acquaintances I've made so far are undeniably welcoming and flawless; but I just don't feel right trying to be their friend. It's not their fault that I moved here and I'm alone.
Either way, whether I'm friends with every single person in Mukilteo, Washington, or I'm 100% alone... I think I'll be okay.
...Short entry. But I felt the need to say that.
-Jordan xx
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I grew up not knowing who I was I tried to be only what other people wanted me to be.Now that really sucked.So being antisocial ment I was just afraid to be who I really was. Because if you really knew how insecure I really am you would not want me around. When and only when i accepted who i was,where I'd been ,and have gradatude for all the great people that have been put in my life.Oh and trust that my HP has my back will I feel the comfort I deserve.BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE just a day at a time yep it's a inside job!
ReplyDeleteYes, sir... Love you!
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