Grievances

Loss. It's something we all go through.

We lose friendships to rumors.

We lose relationships to lack of trust.

And we lose pets, loved ones, acquaintances, and family members to death.

Losses occur every day, and we can all relate: we've all lost something at one point in our lives.

But the question is this: How do we grieve over our losses?

How do we deal with the pain?

Grievances

Moments ago, I finished watching this week's episode of Glee titled "The Quarterback". It was an episode dedicated to remembering Cory Monteith. I've been a fan of Glee since the very first episode. I've been here from the beginning. But I've never been obsessed with the show. 

Yet, as I watched the episode, I simply could not stop crying.

It's surreal to think that a celebrity from our generation reached the end of the road. We hear about our parents' heroes dying and don't think very much of it... But now it's real. It's all too real for us. Now we've lost someone and it is a wake up call.

The episode made me think back to the people I've lost to death. There's a list of about 10. And just like Chris Colfer said in Glee, it doesn't matter how they died. That's not important. The fact of the matter is that they're gone. And it - for lack of a better word- sucks. 

You get so used to people being alive that you forget they're not always going to be able to breathe. You forget to hug them when they leave. You forget to say "I love you" when you get off the phone with them. You forget to say how proud you are of them, and how much they mean to you. You forget that the words you're saying to them just may be the last words they'll ever hear from you.

 

The episode also made me think back to the friendships I've lost. People grow up and people grow apart. And you may have these awesome plans to get married with the boy you're currently dating. And you might be planning a roadtrip across the country with your best friend next summer. But people grow up and people grow apart. Today, right now, just be happy that they're there. Because maybe something will change and tomorrow, nothing will be the same.

So, grief.

How do you deal with grief?

For me, I have a few different ways of dealing with it. And this is because my grief usually comes in stages: shock, sadness, anger, and more sadness.

When I'm sad, I usually just sit around and cry. That's it. That's all I do. That's how I handle sadness. And maybe that's not the "right" way to go about things. But that's what I do.

When I'm angry, I like to be sort-of destructive. But when you're angry, don't say things you don't mean. When I'm angry, the best thing I can do is stay away from people. I like to throw water balloons at brick walls. I like to walk into the lake with my clothes on. I like to tear up phone books and throw the ripped-up paper all over the room.

And then I'm sad again.

And I always come back to this: This grief is real. And they're not coming back. Will throwing things and crying truly help me?

And so what do I always end up doing?

I write.

And so here I am, crying my eyes out about Cory Monteith and everything/everyone else that I've lost in this world. And I'm writing.

Grief is a brutal thing, but it needs to be done. So cry. Throw things. Write.

Just remember to love the people around you today. And never wait until tomorrow to say "I love you" if you so clearly know that you love them. Because the only thing that can make loss worse is regret.

Love always,

-Jordan xx

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